The Dude Abides

Nah, I’d rather not.  Hello readers, are you going through withdrawals yet?  I almost am, and I get to spend all day with me and my knowledge.  That’s a scary thought, that I’ve built up that high of a tolerance to me.  Soon I’ll need a clone to get my fixes.  Soon, so shall you.  Before you start killing yourselves, and each other, from waiting, I shall continue writing.

As I was saying, I do not wish to label it morning.  I think I’ll go by the appropriate term.  Depressed.  I have avoided using this term ever since this whole fucking shibang happened, but I really cannot deny it any longer.  I’m depressed.  Nothing motivates me, and I don’t want to be around people.  Even more so than normal.  Now, I’m sure this does not come as a big fucking shocker to you readers.  But, coming from someone who hasn’t ever been depressed, it is a rather large deal.

Now, let’s clear this up.  I’m not severely depressed, like suicide watch and shit.  Depression doesn’t necessarily mean stupidity.  So before you assholes start trying to cheer me up, I beg you to fuck off.  It’s just a mild to moderate case of fucking bummed out.  I wish only to sit alone, listen to music, and think.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Now, back to my discussion.

I’ve been in bad situations, seen and learned things that could have made me depressed.  It didn’t happen.  And it’s a simple matter of caring.  I didn’t care about any of the horrible shit that happened to my family, because it didn’t really affect me directly.  Yes, my parents split, but that wasn’t because of me.  It was because of an idiot, but that’s another story.  I know how selfish it sounds, I really do.  If it doesn’t concern me, than I have no need to feel down about it.  It’s arrogant, prickish, and self-centered.  It’s how I cope with things, so blow me.  And it was damn near fool proof.  I didn’t really involve myself with too many things, so not much could backfire and blow up in my gorgeous face.  There wasn’t anything for me to cope with, because I wasn’t ever faced with those types of situations.

This, on the other hand, found a way around my defense.  Love.  Fucking asshole, love.  It got me really, really involved.  Had me thinking about things, and enjoying every fucking moment.  I was in deep, and I couldn’t have cared MORE about her if I tried.  So, it stands to reason, that when everything went to hell, I was left reeling.  And I don’t know how to cope with it, because I’ve never been here before.  Nothing I do helps, so I’ve just stopped trying and accepted it as being ass.  And this has led to slight depression.  It hurts, but I don’t care.  Somewhere, below the depression,  I know I can handle it, somehow.  God wouldn’t pull this shit on me if He thought I was unable to deal with it.  I just wish He thought I couldn’t.  It would make things so much easier.  I hate it, the way I feel, and the whole fucking situation.  I know, redundant, but I just feel the need to reitterate the fact that heartbreak blows.  So much.  I’ll get over it, eventually, maybe.

However, I wish to speak of this no more.  There are more important, but not really, things to concern myself with.  One of these is educating the people known as my growing fan base.  You must learn, because then you shall not make the same mistakes as the assholes I talk about.  This next topic is not a big concern to me, but it’s annoying enough to address.  Now turn off your fucking TVs and stop tugging at that, because you are not a paying full-time member.  And also because if you are tugging at it in the first place, you disgust me.  But thanks for the support anyways.  Prepare to know.

I hate whores.  I hate sluts.  I hate stupid people.  Sometimes, these go hand in hand.  Then you get one of the worst pieces of shit in the world, the stupid whore.  Do you know where they congregate?  No, not on the streets, those whores cost money.  They congregate on the internet, and you see them damn near everyday.  Ads.  Internet ads for a quick lay.  They try and disguise themselves as dating sites, but they don’t fool me.  I mean, really?  I don’t think that luvsyourdik22 is gonna be a tea and crumpets type chick.  No, this is not a dating service.  This is nothing more than finding a dumb chick you can fuck.  Now, these chicks don’t see any money, they aren’t that fucking smart.  The website, however, racks in the dough.  It costs a couple bucks to see who you’re “matched” with, doesn’t it?  Have to pay somebody for your whore.  Please, these women are nothing but an easy way for a guy to crank one off inside her before going back to his wife, who he no longer finds attractive.  And they wonder why they can’t find the right guy.  Well gee, I tried all the online dating services.  Here’s a crazy idea.  Perhaps it’s because you, but not anyone else, is too fucking stupid to realize you’re nothing more than free pussy.  Let me help you.  Get off your computer.  Go out.  Socialize, and don’t bring a guy back.  It’s really fucking simple, just don’t get laid.  Eventually you’ll find chemistry with somebody, and then perhaps you can think about doing the no pants dance.  Also, piss off with your suggestive names, hrnymama33.  It doesn’t suggest brains, or morality, in the least.  Until then, keep your legs closed, I can fucking smell it from here.  You’re welcome.

This shall do it for me on this evening.  Now, I will be off to deal with my depression by listening to music and staying up until the ass crack of dawn.  Until next time America.  Take it easy.

The Dude

P.S.  I still love you.