The Dude Abides

Hello.  If you wonder at my title, it’s probably because you don’t speak French.  In the event that you do, you are pretty smart and you know the meaning and significance of this statement.  Readers, I am not going to be posting a poem this time.  I know, terrible.  Why, you ask?  Because I have no poem to post.  It has happened that the greater I enjoy writing, the shittier the poems become.  So, until I fucking hate writing again, I won’t.  That being said, we will now move onwards with this post.

Brad Delp once wrote, “I have a solitary heart (translation of title).  I am a lonely soul.”  Afterwards he killed himself by carbon monoxide poisoning.  Although I think he is a fucking moron for pulling a stunt like that, I know how he feels, except without that whole suicide shit.

I am a lonely soul.  I’ll admit it.  I realize it quite vividly.  I can even tell you that it is my own fault.  I am not going to go out and make a bunch of friends.  I hate people.  They’re flawed and useless.  I come off as a prick because I am so bitter at what I perceive to be a shitty hand that I’ve been dealt.  I refuse to talk to, or hardly even acknowledge the girl I loved and lost, because I’m too fucking cowardly to face the inevitable hurt I know it will bring, even though I’m sure it would make things easier on the both of us if I just grew a pair.  I also like the pronoun ‘I’ quite a bit.

I see everybody changing around me, and I wonder what they perceive as growing up.  To me, it’s just being responsible.  To others, it’s becoming everything they weren’t in high school, at least the shitty parts.  I could completely change, become a typical college kid.  This means becoming a chewing, drinking, smoking, partying, sex-obsessed douche fuck who loves shitty music.  My biggest objection is the bad music.  Just kidding, but only slightly.

She was at the game tonight.  I figured she would be, so it isn’t like I was caught off guard.  I just deflated.  My mind just went back to asking questions.  Why?  What the fuck?  Serves to make an interesting late night, in that it will be just like old depressing times.

Do me a favor, will you?  If you happen to read this, toss me a message.  Tell me to fuck off.  Just do it.  I think it will finally let my conscious mind rest.  I’ve always preached that the easiest way to get over something is by telling the annoyance to fuck off.  Perhaps after I’m told to fuck off, I can go back to just being El Duderino.  An odd theory, but I think it is worth a shot.

Alright, now after all of these mini-paragraphs, it is time for me to rant.  I haven’t in a while, so chances are I am a little rusty.  Oh well, learn something anyways.  This is just a minor annoyance I experienced at the game, which I plan on blowing completely out of proportion in order to type a decent rant.

At the game tonight, as I was standing there avoiding contact with her (because I’m a dumbass), I had to listen to some annoying cunt babble on mindlessly about pointless shit.  Just stupid fucking gossip, and nothing else.  The bad part is that she wasn’t even talking to me.  Guy she was talking to wasn’t interested either, at least not in what she had to say.  He was interested in a few things south of the mouth, although I’m sure the mouth was also involved in someway.  Either way, this chick is fucking retarded.  Maybe I’m not a genius, but I can clue in when somebody is trying to use me.  It disgusts me all the way around.  That chick is not only fucking annoying, she is also a big fucking dumbass.  It’s like, really?  Do you not realize that, generally speaking, guys aren’t really concerned about how bad somebody’s shoes were.  The guy is just trying to hit it, which I understand.  I don’t approve, but I understand.  Seriously though, the girl isn’t even good looking.  Big knockers, but she is hairy and grody and stupid.  To the both of you, stop.  You’re fucking for the wrong reasons, and dude, she is fuck-ugly.  You’re welcome.

Alright, something else.  I like to say that I swing both ways politically, but in most instances I lean towards the left.  If you don’t agree with me, that is fine.  Nobody is going to hate you because you’re wrong.  However, I digress.  My point is, I’m not a big advocate of the shithole excuse for a TV station that is FOX News.  I mean, besides Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, and everybody else there, I’ve got no problem.  But, I do have to give them a smidgen of credit, or at least the guy that gave them the story.  By the way, worst pimp costume I have ever seen.

I’m talking of course about the hidden camera exploits inside ACORN facilities.  Fuckin’ hell, people!  I swear, I haven’t seen shittier advice since somebody told Keanu to act.  What those assholes were doing was ridiculous.  It was wrong, and it was illegal.  Shame that the President is kind of distantly involved with them…or was at one time.  Of course, he isn’t MY President, NO FUCKING BIRTH CERTIFICIATE!  Does anybody else hate those people as much me?  Ok, he has shown a certificate of live birth, this doesn’t satisfy you?  Get over it, you lost.  Kind of like what you said when Gore lost (won)?  Exactly.  Fuck you, go blow your elephant.

Alright, I think that about does it.  I realize looking back that this post is extremely scatterbrained.  I’d apologize, but it relates to how I feel.  Don’t like it? Don’t read.  I hope you go blind, you unappreciative fuck.  I am out for now.  Until next time America.  Take it easy.

The Dude

P.S.  I still love you.

Hey fuck off! lol.. ttyl

Comment by Elizabeth September 24, 2009 @ 4:02 pm

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