The Dude Abides

Hello readers, and how are we this morning?  I’m posting now because I’ll be gone getting my mascot on all fucking day, and by the time I get home I will be too damn tired to do anything but sleep.  So enjoy it now, because you fucking love me.

My title, you ask?  Ugh.  Last night was Uniontown’s homecoming.  They got their asses whipped, and rightfully so.  Either way, the whole ceremony made me start thinking again.  Roughly a year and a day ago, I danced with the homecoming queen.  I fell in love with her.  I was happy.  But, as quickly as one finds happiness, life is there to pluck it away with a chuckle.  And so now for the past four monthsish I’ve been doing nothing but moping around like the sad, pitiful fuck I have become.

Here is how bad it is.  I go to class, I come home.  That’s it.  That is my day.  I do absolutely nothing, aside from the occasional mascot appearance, to get my mind off of her.  Yes, I realize that four months should have gotten me over, or at least numbed me to the fact that there is apparently no going back.  It’s just something keeps telling me that what occured happened prematurely, and feel free to make any sick jokes you want.

Of course, I’m biased, because of my stance on the subject, but it’s not like I can lie and fake acceptance.  How dare I let her be happy, right?  How dare I just let it all go and move on.  Yeah, way to go Cody, real fucking genius.  I think I may be up for the Nobel Peace Prize for that one.

Prestigious awards aside, I really am kind of sort of but not really trying.  I mean, it’s not like I fucking cry myself to sleep like a little bitch…anymore.  Ha!  Yuck, I disgust myself.  I want more than damn near anything TO move on.  What could I want more than to feel some time of release from the whole situation?  Hmm, how about her?  Could I have that, perhaps with a side of curly fries?  No?  Well, how about just the curly fries then?  What do you mean you’re out?  Man, what a shitty day so far.

Alright, enough bitching about my shattered emotions and broken beyond repair heart.  In case you were wondering, the previous sentence was sarcasm.  I think I’m going to do a bunch of mini-rants.  Some are recent, some are past due, but I find them humorously idiotic all the same.

So, a couple months ago I was at Jamaal’s.  We decided on KFC for dinner.  His mother calls us back and tells us that KFC…pause here for dramatic build up…had run out of chicken.  What?  So, do we like order a pizza from there now?  Or maybe a big ol’ tub o’ taters?  What is the fucking deal here.  If you are a chicken establishment, you do not run out of your signature product.  It’s like going to a football game and them saying they don’t have a pigskin.  The fuck man?  KFC, go fuck a chicken, but do not serve me that one, when you finally manage to get some in your inventory.

Next up, stained glass windows.  Kind of a neat idea, but, in my opinion, a shitty raffle prize.  Last night at the game, the booster club or somebody decided to sell a couple of stained glass windows.  I was like, who wants to win two fucking windows?  You know, maybe if they came with installation, or perhaps the rest of the house, but alone?  Fuck you.  Cakes are a better idea, or maybe a pie or something.  Windows?  You’re raffling off something that takes manual labor to appreciate?  Welp, you just lost my bid.  Stained glass windows, go break.  You are completely pointless in the raffle realm, and the idiots who decided to do that are stupider than…hmm…FOX News.  Couldn’t think, so I decided to use the old reliable stand by.

Speaking of idiotic right-wingers (terms not dependent on each other, as I know a few intelligent ones), Glenn Beck ceases to prove how dangerously close to insane he is, or actually just stupid.  I needed some filler, because my wordage is really slim as of right now, hence this sentence.  Anyways, he predicted the cost of the Vancouver Olympics to have cost the city 1 billion dollars.  Holy crap, that is bunch of money.  Wait, what?  I’m getting my live feed from ‘reality’.  Oh, really?  Folks I’ve just been informed by reality that the Vancouver games do not happen until 2010.  So, exactly how have they lost 1 billion dollars if nothing has happened?  I mean, sure, the stadiums cost to build.  Damn them for creating jobs.  But, ticket sales and souvenir sales, I’m sure the city gets a chunk of that.  Plus, tourism bumps even higher, since the Olympics are kind of a big deal.  So, um, Beck?  Fuck off.  You predicting but stating as fact numbers are fucking ridiculous, unless of course you can travel through time, in which case you are now more of a dangerous idiot.  Who knew idiots could be dangerous?

Welp, that just about does it for me.  In an hour I have to go take pictures as the mascot with anybody that wants to take their picture with me.  Apparently, there are enough fans of the Cheer/Dance team to make this photo op last two fucking hours.  Should be fun.  Another side note here, I actually had to go to cheer/dance practice on Thursday.  8:30 PM-10:00 PM.  I got up on two people’s legs, stepped down, and watched the rest of practice.  Seemed a bit, useless.  Anyways, I missed the Office because of it, so I was a tad miffed.  All in all, a really shitty weekend ahead.  I’m praying for a lot of things right now, but strength, patience, and a mind wipe are on top of the list.  Sometimes, if I weren’t so damn awesome, I contemplate never leaving my house again.  Damn curse, sexiness is.  Until next time America.  Take it easy.

The Dude

P.S.  I still love you.